I am celebrating my 13 year anniversary today. It has been a tumultuous journey up until this point. So we met and fell in love and within 9 months we were married! So let’s just say we have spent the last 13 years getting to know one another. Having an anniversary in December has benefits in the sense that in general you are closing off the year. Ending things to start a new year. Spring cleaning and reconnecting with each other and friends and family. It’s a time where you reflect on the year that has passed, on the things you have gained and lost and in all honesty we have had a bumper year.
As a couple Alhumdulillah we have grown from strength to strength. We have developed a mutual respect that has allowed us to really understand each other. Often in marriage we see things from our own point of view and very rarely are we able to really put ourselves in our partner’s shoes. And this can lead to some sticky and tricky situations. Over the years we have had massive colossal fights that left us both shaken. We have faced tragedy and heartbreak together. We have also shared in the most amazing memory making moments and some joyous occasions that we have been privileged to be apart of with family and friends. Mostly, we have had the absolute best job in the world and shared responsibility of raising our boys.
All this has cemented our love and made us closer than ever before. The sincere appreciation for each other. The real connection of understanding your needs after a long tough day. The unexpected cup of tea. The gentle squeeze of a hand. The inside jokes we share. The recognition in the boys we see growing up in front of us, as literally a part of each us. Both of us. They have things from us that we are continually surprised to discover. Little habits and mannerism and phrases that are not taught but emerge from within. These boys fulfill our world. They have allowed us to discover and learn from each other and them as they enquire about the world around them.
We have faith and belief in each other that has definitely changed the dynamic between us. We are each other’s ‘person’. The one you go to for that burning question. The one that will help you make a decision. The one that will offer you a perspective when you need one. The one that will listen as you vent. The one that will hug you as you cry. But equally we allow each other space to be ourselves. And space from each other when we need it. I have so much to be thankful for and I am so eternally grateful for all that I have.
We have travelled together to many magical places. We fondly talk through our travel diaries remembering many occurrences that have added to the colour of our marriage. Including our journey to Hajj. This was 3 years ago and we were able to find a connection from a spiritual perspective, which cannot really be described. This is more a feeling, like when your heart completely recognises another’s.
It’s amazing that 13 years have gone by. A little ironic that the number 13 has all these negative connotations to it. Friday the 13th is widely considered as an unlucky day. Some hotels make it appear like there is no 13th floor as people are apprehensive to stay on the 13th floor. It is also considered unlucky to have 13 guests for dinner at a table? I don’t believe in any of this of course, but as I reflect on our 13 years together I just find myself thinking how phenomenally lucky I have been. I have made it this far. We have faced the trials and tests put in front of us and we are seeing it through to the other side.
I know that we will have disagreements and possibly more colossal fights, I know that we will have more trials and tests, I know that we might face more tragedy and heartbreak but I also that we will have that many happy memories and more wonderful times together as a couple and as a family, as we have had these past 13 years. I know that we have each other. I know whatever the challenge we will make it through… Insha Allah, and with the grace and blessings from Allah (SWT) we will continue to have the patience and love and understanding for the years to come.
So for me this year’s anniversary is definitely lucky number 13.
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. – Rumi