I recently read that the 19th December 2017 marked the 20 year anniversary of the movie Titanic and let me just admit I was a fan 🙂 It was a movie that you either loved or despised. The nay sayers said it was the hype surrounding it that was off-putting or many thought that it was over dramatised, with weak dialogue and maybe cheesy. In any case for hopeless romantics like me, its storyline and tragic ending evoked emotions to the extreme. I was a bit taken aback that 20 years have gone by, and I still so vividly remember my obsession with this movie. Jack and Rose, from different backgrounds, romance, drama, disaster and tragedy, what more is there to ask from an epic love story.
We didn’t have instagram or twitter to express our interests in things or our love for things then. Back then your friends and family actually saw your interests and creativity on your bedroom walls. How quaint! I wish I had a photograph of my teenage bedroom wall, it would have made the most gorgeous instagram post. It had poems and sayings some hand written, some printed out, postcards plucked side by side, notes and mementos from friends and little things that I found pretty or had some meaning like a dried pressed flower. The wall if I think about it actually resembled a mosaic expression of me and my interests at the time. Hmm, imagine that pre-facebook I already had a wall that told you about me. I would’ve been a bazillionaire 🙂
In honour of my love this movie I ordered something special from a catalogue that I read about in a magazine. The offering included postcards, pin-up pictures and glossy posters from the movie and the main characters, which I thought would be perfect for my make shift memory wallpaper, and I had to have it. I begged my mom for some money to assist me with the purchase and the ordering. I waited excitedly for my package to be delivered. Once I received it I remember the joy and glee I felt when I finally positioned them perfectly on my bedroom wall. On the occasion when I have watched the movie since then, it still tugs at the heartstrings. I will forever remember the tragedy and misfortune of a shipwreck of mammoth proportions and the timeless tale of star-crossed lovers finding love, if only for a brief period, because invariably someone has to die. Spoiler alert – in this case it was Jack, but Rose lived on to tell the tale…
The line from the movie that struck then and resonates still now is…
“I’m standing in a crowded room screaming at the top of my lungs and no one even looks up”
As February kicks in my mood still lingers at least not as aggressively as in the beginning of the year. I feel like I see things that other people don’t see, hear things in a way other people don’t hear. I maybe say things in a way that is misunderstood or misinterpreted? I definitely still see behaviors that makes me cringe.
Today it feels like people default to being mean-spirited and hateful as opposed to thinking how can we always choose kindness first? How can we start listening and understanding the person we are engaging with? Listening and being heard are two things that we do very badly. Often we find ourselves speaking over each other, maybe saying similar things but on completely opposite ends of the spectrum. This can be frustrating, often hurtful and very counterproductive because inevitably you find yourself going around in circles.
On a lighter note, the line from the movie is so relevant to home life as well. Mainly as a result of all the technology overload in my household. I’ll be standing in a crowded lounge (living room), with four males albeit some of them tiny ones, none of whom even twitch to acknowledge my announcement or arrival. This can drive me insane. All vividly engrossed in their technology of choice, laptop, phone, iPad, PS4, TV etc. Even a grunt would suffice to say hello, you know.
So usually I will make my presence known for a second time, greet them and re-announce the announcement, and still I will receive no response. By this time all my patience and sunshine that I wanted to address them with, is depleted and I am fully annoyed. So I loudly proclaim. “Hello, earth to my family, no more phones, games, videos etc. Come and have an actual conversation with me!”
Anyways, this finally gets their attention and I have the hugs and kisses and conversation that I originally requested, that I deserve! The question though is why must there be drama, when all that was intended from me was sunshine and happiness. Listen to mama when she talks every now and then. Get up and greet her upon seeing her, don’t finish your game first and once in while hug her a wee bit longer than you have to? Although, I shouldn’t complain I do get lots of hugs. ❤
My need for love, though. My desire for actual articulation and visible statements and outwardly showing affection with no fear of expressing it, is real. My default or natural preference is love and affection. This is how I communicate with the world, and when the world doesn’t communicate back through love, I maybe feel, see and say all the things I do and we get this version of me Wanting the world to be all about love may be a tall order, I realise. And this may be the rose-coloured glasses from my youth talking but I still think we can achieve so much more through love.
Through love thorns become roses… ~ Rumi