Firstly, I know it’s almost half way through the first month of the new year but Happy New year y’all. This being my first post of 2019 I feel like I owed it some thought and not just spew out words on the whim. This is a much harder way to write than my usual process which is literally as stated above! My thoughts have pushed to the shore like giant waves but then just as quickly pulled back like the tide. In the time that I have had in thinking about the subject and the time of year and everything in between, my thoughts eventually settled.
I have been known to have been in the middle of some sticky situations. Some so far from the norm you would think it was fiction, sometimes the reality of what I am experiencing makes me take a second glance and wonder if I’m imagining this feeling, the moment, this experience? I have to really tread cautiously during these times because feelings and experiences like these can be overwhelming … at other times my life is so mundane or routine hours and months could have gone by without much having changed…. however a cute instagram pic or something posted about the clouds or a sunset may portray a more interesting picture of my life.
Let’s be honest, how much of those plants and sunsets that we photograph for the gram is because nothing else is going on? I then wondered how much of our lives can be converted into fictional characters and tales. How much of our insta stories are true and how much vie away from reality? How much do we post to appear relevant and interesting? We have an epidemic of creating a perception of our lives that is more exciting, more glamorous, more adventurous than the truth. We are often so influenced by what is happening in the next person’s social media feed that we forget that everyone is actually doing the same thing. Augmenting the truth to be more than it is.
Let’s do this, if nothing else in the beginning of the year, is try to be more present. Actually acknowledge our lives, take the good with the bad but don’t sugar coat or exaggerate it. Just be real. In order to determine how much fiction you are injecting into your actual story ask the following:
- Am I happy?
- Do I like my life?
- Do I like my choices?
- What do I want to change?
Now let’s assess. Have an internal view into yourself and figure out what you want from the next year. Whether it’s to improve a spiritual connection to God or pursue a new career path or fix a relationship … don’t look at it from the perspective you usually do. Think about your natural internal inclinations and do something different this time to reach that goal.
Happiness is so subjective. But maybe to answer this question think about your interactions with the world. If on the surface you’re saying ‘I’m happy’ as a response to the question ‘How you doing?’ as opposed to ‘I’m ok’ and then complaining to your friends about almost everything, then maybe you’re happiness scale needs to be assessed.
Life is precious and amazing and we’re so lucky in the things that we have, Alhumdulillah. On a serious note you really don’t have to lie to yourself. You don’t have compare to any standard. You don’t have to get the newest trendiest anything… There are things you want to portray but maybe don’t even really like. Start adjusting your behaviors to be more authentic to yourself and less in tune with the latest trends. Just a little at a time and eventually you will be surprised at how much of you, you didn’t know was there or may have lost.
The choices we make have consequences, the reason why this is important to note, is because where you are is exactly where you chose to be. Every decision is yours ultimately. You need to stop trying to make excuses for yourself, why you haven’t achieved something, gone somewhere, accepted something … Look at the patterns in your decision making and you will see exactly how you got here … but you will quickly realize it is also exactly where you are meant to be. Everything that has happened has been for a reason … and everything that hasn’t is waiting for you to make that choice and choose that path.
So assessing your level of happiness, where you are in life and the choices you have made will lead you to straight to any changes you might need to or want to make. Take that time out to make this time yours. Turn to yourself, connect spiritually and find the answers you are looking for.
This phrase twenty mineteen was coined by someone smarter than me but I thought it fitting.
This next year is going to be mine. Whatever hardships and joys it comes with, I will accept it as my choice, my path, my life.